AP Presents: Friday Fives with William Control 26.11.12

Just in time for Halloween, electro-goth-punk crooner WILLIAM CONTROL shares with us his five favorite creepy music videos. Assume they’re all not safe for work, school or your grandparents’ house.

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TYPE O NEGATIVE, “Christian Woman”

Watching any band poke fun at Christianity or showing the perversion of its followers is enough to give any nonbeliever a little chuckle. Everyone masturbates: your mother, her uncle, the President, even your third-grade math teacher who enjoys wilderness hikes and long, boring walks on the beach. Masturbation is not terrifying. But I think being a Christian woman lying there thinking about Jesus while Peter Steele (RIP) is grinding on top of you probably would be.

MARILYN MANSON, “No Reflection”

An older, more grotesque Brian Warner shuffles through this video like a tired version of Heath Ledger’s Joker character, his lipstick smeared while his band of eerie miscreants are jamming in the rain. It’s par for the course and nothing new with regards to Manson’s style and rhetoric. The disturbing part of this video is the prepubescent girls: They look as though they’ve been forced into a dinner gathering with a creepy ol’ uncle who touched them inappropriately when they were little. Or maybe it’s because they sat at the table with Mr. Warner. We’ll never know.


A standard cheesy metal video from one of the most successful industrial-rock bands of all time, Rammstein surprisingly transform that smelly hunk of brie into hardcore pornography toward the end of this romp. These guys have their manhood ablaze, penetrating filthy German girls without a shred of humility. The part of this video that is most horrifying is the keyboard player. Watch out for his face (Photoshopped?) on a girl’s body, schtupping another girl. Is he a transsexual? Or did they just have a huge budget for this video? Inquiring minds would like to know. (Look, we know the version we’ve posted is not the one Mr. Control is specifically citing. We’re the site that doesn’t want to offend anyone, remember? —ID-checking web ed.)


Bijou Philips? Dismembering her lover bit by bit with an ax and a hacksaw? Absolutely. You can watch this cinematic masterpiece with the sound on or off, but this video is much more terrifying with the song playing. Who knew Canadians could be so sadistic, eh?


Is this a metaphor of what youth culture really looks like in today’s society? Or are we viewing some sort of documentary about popular kids, created on an iPhone with the T-Pain Auto-Tune turned on? Metaphor or not, this shit is fucking scary. Or maybe I’ve just passed into the nether-regions of adulthood and can’t understand kids today. What a shame.


William Control