I stood atop the cascading rocks at Castle Edinburgh a few days ago in Scotland, imagining the manpower that was laid within those stones and mortar, a whole village lending a helping hand to build a place to live and rule for the King. The majesty of it all was astounding, beautiful, breathtaking. The turrets, the cobble stone roads, the moat, and the view from beyond the castle wall was one of the most spectacular things I’ve ever seen. Call me a tourist. Call me a lover of past triumphs and failures. Perhaps it’s the gruesome history that attracts me. The bloodthirsty crowds that awaited trails and tortures of traitors and thieves. Maybe I am just odd. Bertrand Russell once said:
“Happiness is nonetheless true happiness because it must come to an end, nor do thought and love, lose their value because they are not everlasting.”
I believe the finite sense in which we live compels us to look at life more beautifully, more profound, more involved. After all, how exciting would this life be, if it were everlasting?
I am sitting on an airplane flying back from England at this very moment. I look out of the window and all I can see is the mighty Atlantic Ocean stretched out for thousands of miles in all directions below me. I can’t imagine the weight and loss of crossing this magnificent body of water on a ship bound for the new world only a century ago. We live in an age of convenience, of conformity and of calamity. Yet still, here in 2013 I am grateful to have the opportunity to live this life, no matter how short it may or may not be.
May 13th 2013. I’ve officially being travelling and touring and releasing records for a decade. What a fucking dream come true. No, I am not rich. Nor do I have an education, a rich uncle, or a family business to fall back on. This is it for me. I endeavor to create art that means something to me, and hopefully it means something to you as well. More often than not I feel guilty. I feel the guilt of not contributing to this world, financially, scientifically, and perhaps existentially. I’ve lived “Paycheck to Paycheck” like so many of you in this country since I started paying my own bills 15 or so years ago. But, my modest life has afforded me the luxury of traveling and seeing the world, which is most certainly something I never thought I’d get a chance to do.
This month also marks another milestone. It’s been more than a year since the release of “Silentium Amoris”. Time just seems to slip right past us, doesn’t it? In the last year I have fully toured the United States and Canada three separate times and traveled back to the old world almost ten. The time has finally come to take a break. Believe me, I could use the rest. I feel 10 years older than I am. As you’re reading this, you’re probably wondering, a break? For how long?? The truth is, I am mad at times, insane with inspiration and cannot sit still for very long, that probably lends to the prolific nature of my being. Maybe it’s because I don’t self medicate, to quiet the voices within my head I write, I create, and I may have found a new love of stone masonry and laying bricks.
This summer is going to be filled with time at home with my family, BBQs and nights out in the garden looking up at different constellations that surround us. Ancient men and women thought they were benevolent gods with plans, or angry deities whose wrath they didn’t want to experience. Now, with modern science, technology and the power of the Hubble telescope, we know that they are not only unthreatening, but are in fact, different planets arranged in other solar systems, living in galaxies and galaxy clusters all over the known universe. You don’t need stories written in ancient times about preposterous events like living in a big fish, or parting a red sea to feel the spectacular beauty that has enveloped this world since the dawn of time. You merely need to look up at the sky to notice the awe-inspiring place we all reside. And how fortunate we are not to be fooled by myths.
Kenneth and I have gotten a huge portion written for the next chapter in the saga of William Control. Some of you have read interviews where I have talked a little about it. The story is going to be a prelude to Hate Culture. We are going to dive into the events and creation of the madness in this characters life and the reason why he is so destructive. I’ll be setting up some pre order stuff in the coming months to try and fund the album. So keep and eye out for that.
Sadness creeps into my heart when I think about not playing any shows for the next 6 months or so. I come alive when I am performing for you but I know the wait will be well worth it. The rumors are true. After 5 years of doing this project I am finally going out on a headline tour here in America. We’ve been setting it up for a couple of months now and I am going to try and come to all places you’ve asked me to. If there are bands or artists you’d like to see out on the tour with me please feel free to message me on facebook or twitter and voice your opinions. I’ll probably do some limited VIPs for that tour as well. Be on the look out.
I am also going to be producing a band from London called “Fearless Vampire Killers” next month here at Hells Half Acre. They are spectacular and if you don’t know who they are yet, you will soon enough.
It’s been a pleasure. Thank you for coming to the shows, singing along and dancing your fucking ass off. I cannot wait for the future of all our adventures together.
All my love